EVIL, PAIN, SUFFERING --- GOD ?

How many times have you been going the opposite direction from God ? I for one have lost count. I thought God was going East when He was going West. Thus my story begins with Angie when she diagnosed herself with cancer of the lung about eight years ago in LA while working as a director of Employee Health. We prayed earnestly for God's healing hand and direction. We were very agressive in our treatment for Angie. She underwent surgery, radiation, chemo. Things were looking good as her cancer of her lung appear to be in remission. The oncologist said that after 5 years if it does not get bigger or return she is as good as cured. We were very happy and continued to praise God living a life we thought was going well. Short of five years her symptoms return with a vengence. Like before we turn to God for strength and comfort. Unfortunately, this time chemo and radiation appear to be ineffective. Metastasis has been widespread. All this time in her pain, suffering Angie ALWAYS greeted her family with a SMILE and was always there physically when she can or spiritually. Friends that know her was awed by her LOVE for others and God. Even in times of sickness she struggled to teach BLS and attend those meetings. Her last few weeks with her family, Angie privately requested that I let her go. She told me that GOD did not grant our wish. Do you know how much I HATED GOD during those times. This is my wife, my LOVE, mother of my children. Angie literally is the BETTER HALF. Who we are today is because of her LOVE for us.
This reminds me of C S Lewis book " A Grief Observed." Lewis a top notched apologist to had similar experience when his wife Joy a divorcee had remission from her bone cancer but relapsed and died. His faith was literally 'shaken to the core.' He too was angry, wondered if God is there or maybe God was a sadist.
Like the top notch that he is, Lewis was able to finally come to grips with Evil, Pain, Suffering. Here is his quote:

Bridge-players tell me that there must be some money on the game, 'or else people won't take it seriously.' Apparently it's like that. Your bid--for God or no God, for a good God or the Cosmic Sadist, for eternal life or nonentity--will not be serious if nothing much is staked on it. And you will never discover how serious it was until the stakes are raised horribly high; until you find that you are playing not for counters or for sixpences but for every penny you have in the world. Nothing less will shake a man--or at any rate a man like me--out of his merely verbal thinking and his merely notional beliefs. He has to be knocked silly before he comes to his senses. Only torture will bring out the truth. Only under torture does he discover it himself.

In lay man's term : No pain, no gain.

What are your experiences with Evil, Pain, Suffering. Have you too gone North thinking God is heading that direction when He actually was heading South?
I want to thank Ana for sharing her personal story, her ups and downs with the Lord. This gives me inspiration to share the above with you. Part 2 on Evil, Pain, Suffering ---- God ? will be posted next week?

Blessings

Eric